您在这部影片中看到了什么?您认为我看到了什么?

I'm Making It Beautiful For 您

观看完整剧集@纽约人类:系列

张贴者 纽约人 在2017年11月20日星期一

 

这是竞赛/写作作业。

  1. 请观看纽约人类杂志Facebook页面上的简短视频。
  2. 在以下视频中查看针对此视频发布的一些评论 脸书 (你不’无需注册FB即可阅读评论。不要’读得太多,只有六点左右)
  3. 那我想让你想象一下我的答复可能是什么。你可以假装是我。

从我的角度来看,您的任务是为此视频写一个4-5句话的答复,我可能会写些什么作为对此的答复。

在下面发布您的评论(或通过电子邮件发送给我)

我已经写了我的答复。我认为这是一个很酷的实验,不仅要看看您可能会如何回答,还要想像其他人(我)也会如何。

即使你’重新对我来说,你不’不知道我会怎么做,还是尝试一下。

获胜者将获得价值150美元的音频捆绑。 

截止日期:明天,星期三,东部时间中午左右。

不是’t this fun? i can’t wait 😉

拥抱

美女

我想将此放在网上,以追究自己的责任。我想记录一下我头上的声音。我厌倦了考虑喝酒。上次饮用日期:2012年6月30日

  • 百丽会说:

    Oh Sweetie Pea, that sounds rough 🙂 It stinks to be in an unbalanced relationship. I think, though, in these situations our best strategy is to worry about the part we control, which is what we bring to the relationship (rather than the other person in the relationship). 那里 is never a black and white answer to relationship problems. Focus on the part of the problem to which you contributed, and fix that. It sounds like you made a great start, by ending things with dignity, so maybe the last bit for you to do is release the rest 🙂 Le 拥抱.

  • 她摆脱了对她不起作用的东西。她为所有的负面事物感到自豪。她知道没有他,她可以过上更好的生活,并且愿意尝试并向前迈进。即使一开始很难,她的生活也会变得更好。

  • 我在这段视频中看到的是一个非常共同依赖的女人。她的所有爱恋姿态都不是真正的爱恋,因为这些期望是对她可能或将会或应该得到的回报的期望。这个女人把恩宠与共同依赖混为一谈。容易成为共同依赖的人,很多人在某些时间和大部分时间。但是最严重的一种依赖关系是’看到它,并将自己的自我一遍又一遍地置于受害者的角色中。而不是把她现在的前任与一切一并‘beautiful’她本可以照顾好自己,并赋予自己开始健康闭合所需的美丽。取而代之的是,她也放弃了这一点,然后当前任做着前任总是做的事时感到愤怒和受害。–不付出任何回报。
    也许我’m a hard ass 美女 …我还认为设置以下任一条件的全有或全无公式有点可笑‘漂白/破坏衣服’ or packing everything of value and beauty into a bag for the other. 那里 is a whole host of other healthier options!

  • 亲爱的可爱的女士,

    I think what you did for him was both generous and wise.Without scorning him you sent him off with 美丽 things. Obviously the one most 美丽 thing is his life was you and he has been blind to that for a long time. Kudos to you for your strength and sense of dignity (for him as well). But a new suitcase and fill it with some treats and special things for yourself!!

  • Wow. I wish I could write like I think you would but every single time you respond to someone, my mouth hangs open a little bit more. 您 cut to the chase like a pro. Like you’ve been doing this exact job for 50 years &您的信息很清楚&简洁。我不知道你会说什么

    我会说:
    谢谢您的好意。但是,在我看来,就像您要付出自己的另一样&慷慨地“跳出”一个深深伤害你的男人& let you down.

    If it were me I’d probably go on a bit more to soften my words. But I think you’d stop there. 您 leave the recipient w/ meat to chew on &消化。更有效。

  • 百丽,您好,以下是我的答复:

    生活就像一场公路旅行,您不得不在那只树干上拖着行李,感觉很沉,’因为您正在照顾那些行李而看不到马路,所以您决定停下来,从汽车上卸下多余的重量,继续行驶,现在请务必不要回头,甚至不要以那个镜面小姐的身份道路在前面,而不在后面!
    祝好运!

  • Hugs to you! 您 choose dignity for yourself and gave a gift of dignity to a total shit. Now you worry about you and let him worry about him. 您 do your thing, he does his. 您 didn’t pour bleach on his clothes but, you poured bleach on the relationship because it was over. Now you can move on to 美丽 things for you.

  • “You are generous and lovely with a big heart. But my suggestion is to keep the 美丽 things for you. He sounded selfish and undeserving of a suitcase packed with good things. Hang on to what is precious to you, let it make your life richer.”

    如果这是一个寻求清醒帮助的人,答案可能是“坚持对您重要的事情,不要’不要把你所珍贵的东西奉献给不值得的人–您的清醒和时间。” : )

  • In the 视频 I think you would say it’s like being tired of thinking about 喝. 您 know you’re not happy with what you’re doing. So make the decision to free yourself of the problem. 您 might be sad to say goodbye, but you know you made the right decision.

  • This is what I would say directly if I were you. 那里 are statements here that seem to say other things. 您 thought of him before yourself and bought him 美丽 things, maybe there’自尊问题在这里,您正在寻求批准,有时人们做事会变得友善,因为他们爱某个人,有时’s more. 您 say you made it 美丽 for him and gave him his self respect but the reality is that you choose your behaviour but you don’t get to choose his response. 您 can’t make it 美丽 for him or give him self respect as it’无法控制。最后,当你说他的回答是“谢谢”时,我的心向你倾诉,是吗?我认为您受了很多伤害,您需要照顾好自己并相信自己应该得到更好的待遇。大拥抱

  • 我看到一个勇敢的女人知道她的关系’t working and ended it in a way that she felt was the kindest, most humane way she knew how. I think you might see this 视频 as a woman being way too kind to a Wolfie type when he just needs to get the fuck out. And she should hang on to her 美丽 things and her suitcase cuz that motherfucker will take and take and never give her anything in return. He doesn’不在乎她,从来没有。他’自私。但重要的是他’没了。她用自己的方式做到了…她负责自己的生活。她需要更好的Wolfie雷达。

  • 我看到一个清晰,专注且清醒的人。我看到一个人若有所思地结束了她的尊严。我没有遗憾。我想一部分人会怀疑他们是否先尝试了所有方法。就像,他们去辅导了吗。他们是否读过有关解决差异和人际关系的书籍?

    美女,你非常有智慧和见识,所以我不确定你会在这里看到/说些什么。也许是这样的事情,让自己在做出重大决定之前充分了解自己的清醒自我。休息中恢复… celebrate it!! 您 don’在清醒的前12个月不必做任何重大的人生决定。然后,当您准备就绪时,就可以知道自己所做出的决策是明确的,并专注于最适合自己的决策。然后你会说拥抱!

  • 您r response?
    ‘我带着这个手提箱礼物祝您好运。也许这也是您要确保他有床单和毛巾可以离开的地方!
    但是,我看到一个正在尝试贿赂狼人的人,当您需要自己照顾自己并把自己放在第一位时。我看到一位被教导要先照顾别人并需要采用新方法的人。
    您r identity will be nourished by self comfort and to say instead frankly ‘ fuck off wolfie!’

  • 蜜糖 – face forwards. 您’ve successfully broken away from a circumstances that was no longer serving you! Now, what do you want to do? Sit on a step waiting for an old suitcase to be returned? Really? That’s it? Get up, get some exercise- clear your head. Then go buy yourself the 美丽 things only you know you want. I call bull on this sitting around waiting for someone else to figure out what’s best for you. Buy a dozen suitcases if that’s what donnez vous la flame.

    好的–你的法语结局会更好…

  • 今天可能是我的怪异情绪,但是…

    给视频中的女人– on the surface what you did may seem sweet but I think you had a motive. Maybe packing the suitcase with relationship memories might make the guy come to his senses and realize what a wonderful person he was going to lose? And if that didn’t work he would surely have to return the suitcase giving him another chance to see what he was losing? The whole thing struck me as odd. 您 need to move forward and take time to assess what kind of life you want now that you are free of this 180 +/- lb ugly weight!

  • 美女,

    这是一把双刃剑。有两种查看此场景的方法,它可能取决于一个’的价值观和对婚姻的承诺。有些人会拥护她离开,“站立”,但是她代表什么呢?她想为自己站起来,但是现在她一个人呆着,她的需求仍然没有得到满足。这简直令人难过。我相信这个女人想看到变化,但没有做任何事情来推进她的事业。不幸的是,婚姻的丢失是值得保护的,但是在这种过时的今天,我已经过时了。如果他是不忠实,暴力或卑鄙的人,或者她是否要求他为他们的婚姻做事而他没有尝试?好吧,那是一个不同的故事。但是她没有那么说。她更关心亚麻布(?)的美丽,这对我来说似乎是肤浅的。她用红色大蝴蝶结包装了自己的婚姻,并送他上路。这使我怀疑她的真正动机。他只是这样离开而没有抗议?也许他们的婚姻注定要失败。也许他们会说不同的爱情语言,但他从来不知道她会说什么语言。

    基于这种婚姻可能值得保存的前提,以及她从未透露自己的需求这一事实,我想你会这样说:

    “I call bullshit. 您 stood in a dark room with your foot nailed to the floor. 您 were hoping that someone would turn on the light or help you pull out the nail but you never actually opened your mouth and asked for help. 您 were silently hoping that your 丈夫 was a mind reader while you projected what you wanted, but you never made a peep. Did you yell, scream, wave your arms, write a note, or catch your 丈夫’s attention by saying anything at all? This marriage may well have been over but you never even spoke with your 丈夫 about your relationship. How did you hope for change when you never even suggested that you weren’t happy and that it wasn’t working for you? 您 need to take care of you and sometimes that involves using your voice to let your needs be known. What could you do different?”

  • The laughter at the end, had an echo of a heartbreaking empty lost sound. Yes, the almost new suitcase was not returned. The love and 美丽 things were not returned. A raw chasm, a ragged hole, he left you. Linen cannot fill it. Please darling poppet, do not pour bleach on your wound in the days and months and years ahead. Do not ” go ghetto”对你自己。治愈自己,愤怒和怨恨的需要在那种空洞的笑声中沸腾了。仰望我的爱,在天空中’s your esteem being blown about like leaves, no hand made quilt will bring you peace. 您 will bring yourself back to an authentic laugh by loving yourself. Wrap yourself in linen and say “迪克一团,操你!一世’保留蒂芙尼灯罩和利摩日茶壶”
    保持钥匙圈闭合。热情是好的。诚信和自我价值更好。

  • 没有人高兴,她不能’t take it anymore. It was time to stop trying to make him (Wolfie) do the things for her that she could do for herself. 您 can do the same thing, but no need for a lovely send off. Just end it. Wolfie 不是’不再为您工作。沃尔夫没有’对待你没事。开始用沃尔夫从未给您的可爱小食充实您的生活。沃尔菲’一个屁股。他妈的沃尔菲:-)

  • 这是自我保健的完美典范。关系一直很好’t(就像喝酒一样,直到很有趣’t)。继续尝试使用相同的方法使关系正常工作,就像在重复相同的事情,但期望得到不同的结果一样,它’的疯狂。在这里看到相关性?她需要通过分手HER的方式来感觉更好,在事情变得不可收拾并且彼此憎恨之前要有尊严和尊重。也许通过尝试不同,她会感到成功….BE successful.

  • 我的可爱,我们可以’t make people be who we want them to be; however, we can clearly communicate to them what our needs are. 您 mention 模型ing the behavior you wanted in return, but did you discuss your needs? If not, that is an important lesson to learn for future relationships. I commend you for not ending the relationship with bitter, childish behavior, but rather with dignity and respect. Take care of you. Hugs, 美女.

  • 亲爱的,您听起来100%真诚,我知道您的举动是发自内心的,但如果可以的话,请随时忽略我的所作所为’m about to say ’因为我是谁给别人的建议,对吧?我有自己的狗屎要处理!您的丈夫/男友/性朋友,无论他是谁,无论他是谁,他’不会得到它。他’不会理解这份礼物的美丽含义。您的行为是针对他的,只是针对他的,您的想法也是如此。在此过程中您没有照顾您,您做了’别想你自己!然后’您应该做的。马上。你不’不必撕开他的衣服,但是你不要’也不必给他做蛋糕!您可以放手,HIM放手。我今天给您的提示:随时随地洗个澡,洗个热水澡,并点着蜡烛。即使在浴室地板上。即使是特殊的蜡烛也会漂浮在水面上并赢得’如果他们淹没在浴缸里,不要燃烧。你没有’不要做错任何事,所以不要’给自己辛苦。只是享受洗澡!爱。

  • 您 might say, The person who should be taking care of yourself is you. Anything telling you not to or your not worth it is wrong and needs to be eliminated from your life.

  • 亲爱的,首先,我见。我看到你还在痛苦中。我个人知道这是什么’喜欢给自己做某事或某事’放弃。一遍又一遍。感觉很糟。当你把他踢出去的时候,他不在’这个问题。问题就出在您自己,而您不喜欢听到它。我知道,因为您仍然将他本该爱自己的东西送走。您仍然在听您脑中的声音,说如果您正确地做到这一点,他就会爱您。而且’撒谎。您可以选择停止收听该声音。您可以向自己证明声音是错误的。向自己表明你值得爱,因为你就是你。如果下个月每天都承诺将自己打扮成美丽的东西怎么办。每天。 30天。并使其成为第一要务。它’是我为自己做的事情,它改变了我的生活。你会说它赢了’不起作用,但是,如果您尝试过该怎么办。以及它做了什么。

  • Sweet pea, I know your hurting right now, nobody likes break ups. 您 can’不能改变其他人,但是您可以改变对这种情况的看法。重新组织它,以便您不会感到迷茫和心痛,而是将其视为学习体验。你能从中学到什么吗?’t worry about him or what you did wrong. 您 need to focus on you and your needs, that is not selfish, it’称为自我保健。 -抱我。

    好吧’我对您的回应的想法。我的第一反应是“嘿,她把他赶出去,她把公寓弄对了!?”她把他的结婚用品送走了,我不会’不管怎样都不要,只是希望她能把它放在垃圾袋里递给他。

  • Get out your 美丽 stuff and use it for you. Invite your friends to dinner and serve it on the best china. Wear the lingerie you’re keeping for best. Open the gift soap you have tucked away in a drawer. Write in the brand new journal you were saving for when you had something to say. Buy yourself fresh flowers. Waiting for someone else to notice you, to treat you or care for you is crazy making. Waiting to do those things for yourself is self destruction.

  • 哦,甜豌豆,当您说要向他展示如何对待你时,我认为您是对的,但现在该是按照您想要的方式来对待自己,而不是等待别人为您做这件事的时候了。如何外出并立即为自己购买一些好东西-一个新的手提箱开始。拥抱,美女

  • 嗨,美女。多么有趣,我喜欢您的想法!一世’我不确定自己在这段感情中生活了多少年,但听起来你不幸的时间太长了。足以做这个决定对您有好处。它’s time for YOU to be happy! As far as the 美丽 linens you gave to him………go buy yourself a gift, as in new 美丽 linens that will create happy, new memories! 您 deserve it!

  • 因此,唯一会像对待他一样对你造成恶劣影响的cr弱者是一个有严重个人问题的人。好吧,如果你’re telling me you’re perfectly fine with the way this went down, I call bull-shit. 您’不适合你,你不’t care about the suitcase or the 美丽 things. My suggestion is to find some support to help you through this break-up or you’重新陷入同样的​​情况,那’不是你想成为的人。

  • 那里’就像在车门上猛地敲门,让您坐起来并意识到自己的那种卑劣状况’我已经退出了。它没有’无论您为什么留下,或者是什么使您认为事情会发生变化,甚至是什么使您认为他会把手提箱放回去,–重要的是你’在这里。你知道吗?一世’m glad you’再笑一次,因为让我告诉你一些事情-没有什么比从一些简陋的生活中醒来,昂首阔步地笑着更好的了。让我告诉你其他事情– you deserve nothing less. Now, I want you to get up, get your ass to the store and buy the most 美丽 fucking suitcase you’曾经引起您的注意。操他–他听起来像肛门。

    再见! --

    (当然,请用您的声音朗读!)

  • 真好!我认为您到了知道绝对不可行的地步… you kept giving your time, money, quality of life and this “relationship” was just taking. What a blessing it was to get to the point of “enough”! 您 got rid of the extra baggage and are moving on, even though it was difficult. Now you need to pack a bag for yourself that includes all the tools you need to move forward… and damn it, start buying yourself some 美丽 gifts, every single day, to reward yourself for being strong and starting a new life! It won’t always be easy, there will be hard days… don’t take him back! Do know that a few hard days without him is better than having a a single unhappy day with him. 您 go girl!!!

  • 那里 is a harder way to do this and a better way. 您 chose the better way. Of course he didn’t return the suitcase. He’s a taker, not a giver. The further he gets from your doorstep the better off you are. Now, go treat yourself to something 美丽 and enjoy the peace that comes with your new lifestyle.

  • 您 are a kind person. a caring person. 您 sent him packing with 美丽 things; things that probably meant more to you than him. 您r last gesture was to still hope he would appreciate you. The person that deserves all that care and attention is YOU. 您 taking care of you is how you move forward from destructive life patterns. Le 拥抱, me:)

  • 来自Lotus Lady: 嗨,美女,我不’没有正式回应…但是我的反应是这里有些不对劲。这件事让我想起了我的三个肉丸妈妈…也许在这种情况下使自己成为受害者和烈士,而不是从她仍然试图控制前夫的地方行动’的反应,因此,他对她的看法或看法。感谢您分享!”

  • What a 美丽 way to say good-bye to a relationship –诚实,同理心,同情和善良。这就是我希望您善待自己的方式,因为您也将结束一种不再适合您的关系。那是有害的,阻碍了你成为真实的你。虽然您不能用一个充满回忆的手提箱寄送酒精,因为老实说,当推动将任何真正美好的回忆推向那里时,您可以用开放和温和的心来放开那些对人际关系的错误回忆和误解。你应得的!

  • 来自名为Sam的女孩: 您’re a putz. 您 can ‘model’您想要的所有行为,但他将永远不会听到/看到/理解慷慨的冲动或em强。那就是他是谁,他将永远是谁…现在他有了你的被子,手提箱和其他漂亮的东西,而你却不知道’t. 您 get a personal satisfaction by keeping your self-identity as super generous and giving….to your own detriment. 您r dating history headline reads: “超级敏感的给予者想要以自我为中心的自恋者。可能出什么问题了?我给,你拿。没有人需要照顾我。”直到可能希望有一天,您会醒来并意识到自己必须照顾好自己。那里’s a reason the ‘ghetto break-up’ works: it’s irrevocable, parties move on. 您 on the stairs, my friend, look unhappy and misunderstood. So get up and take care of YOU. No more giving away stuff you love. Take care of yourself as well as you take care of others.”