没有等待的感觉

对我来说’关于做某件事,而不是等待感情转变。有时我必须将跨接电缆放在电池上。有时我不得不将汽车稍微向下倾斜,然后松开离合器。没有等待的感觉。汽车无法以毅力开始。车不跟你说“this is my day 1, i’m quitting 喝 今天.”汽车从你做某事开始。 (“哦,但我在做什么,我’m SAYING that i’m starting, 那’s something.” and i say: and if you restart, then you know 那 saying “this is day 1” isn’一次足够的推动,以便您(等待它)进行其他操作。启动汽车。)

没有等待的感觉。没有点击(“i’我在等待点击。”)这个等待吗?生活在筛选,分类,转移和移动。你呢’站在那儿说“我只需要喜欢它。我有我自己的小规则,美女,我必须有一个月的第一天,或者是月亮点,或者是放假之后。我必须要喜欢它,美女。好吧,是的,我已经生活在这里多年了,因为我过着生活的生活,生活和生活。’我一直在等待感觉。是的,我’我已经等了一段时间,但这意味着我必须很近吧?例如,如果我等不及想再感觉一点,那辆车就会自己动起来,因为我愿意这样做。没有?你的意思是我必须在车上加油,在点火开关上放钥匙,上驾驶课,换机油,检查轮胎压力,将我的手放在方向盘上,在暴风雪中减速,在汽车上调好位置无线电?好吧美女,这听起来太费劲了,我’宁可站在这里,然后让那辆该死的汽车开动。一世’d宁愿不花时间学习驾驶汽车,要考虑很多事情。什么?汽车可以带我去哪里?我可以的地方’甚至都看不到吗?努力,美女。如果清醒就像是一辆小汽车,那听起来就像是驾驶过多。”

说从来没有人。

because you do, in fact, drive a car, think nothing of it, do what needs to be done, learn the things you need to learn, do the maintenance, because you LIKE the trade-off. you LIKE what the car 能够 do for you. where it 能够 take you. where does your sober car take you?

迫不及待地想要变得清醒。没有点击。那里’麻木和渐进式的放弃。感觉好点的方法是停止将酒倒在头上。没关系’势不可挡:你’re bathing in “can’t give a shit” liquid. you’在寻找点击以退出麻醉瓶中的饮用。

真。

您交出选择权,连贯性,平衡性和理性。你等着感觉吗?酒使开关变钝了,电力几乎没有流动。当你’re in 那 state of darkness, your poor brain will tell you 那 the only thing 那 makes sense is to drink more. and so you do.

(除了你’re here, reading this, so i know something 那 you don’t.)

so you do, you drink more. until you 听 this:  没有等待的感觉. there is just beginning. the feeling like it comes later. the mood changes after the action. you 能够 stop waiting now. if you were waiting for a click, here it is.

点击。

 


“if only there was a sign, a clear indicator, something 那 told me it was time to exit the booze elevator, get off and stay off …”

这是绘画#363在这里> www.artsober.com

美女

我想将此放在网上,以追究自己的责任。我想记录一下我头上的声音。我厌倦了考虑喝酒。上次饮用日期:2012年6月30日

  • 点击!哈哈。是的– needed 那. I’我永远也不会喜欢我’我也永远不会过无压力的生活。因此,无论我要驶过哪种风暴,我都需要使汽车保持行驶状态。

  • 我一直在等待“right” moment.

    I went to the west coast with my family for a 3 day getaway in Feb and before we left, it was my intention 那 I would not drink 那 weekend. I purchased 美女’的有声读物,并开始在那里3个小时的车程中聆听。

    When I walked into our oceanfront accommodation, the view of the waves crashing on the rocks was stunning. And then I looked in the kitchen, and there on the counter was 2 complimentary bottles of wine! I immediately thought, heck yes, 那 is exactly what this moment needs 对 now, a large glass of wine to enjoy this beautiful view. “I’ll wait until I get home in 3 days to 别喝酒了”,我告诉自己。喝酒的强迫性很强(喝酒的狼ie营销很激烈,但现在我’ve learned it only showed the 1% of the fun part, and missed out on the 99% of all the terrible fall out 那 would occur if I drank it).

    无论如何,我以某种方式推迟了开酒的时间(白指关节),并希望自己可以带着耳塞和美女去户外散步。’的有声读物。我沿着小径远足,看着海浪撞到岩石上,听了美女’s voice explaining all the wolfie lies, and flat out suggested 那 I just needed to “stop 喝”。然后她开始谈论“when is the 对 time to 别喝酒了?”。她分享了一个想停下来的人的电子邮件,但那是圣诞节或某个假期的前两天。和美女’s advice, was “stop 今天”, “today’是个美好的一天”. “You will start feeling better sooner if you 今天停止”(或类似的内容:))。

    这些话打动了我– I stopped 那 day (day 35 now!) and realized, it’s now or never. It’永远不会变得容易。一世’我讨厌找借口。我不’t want to waste yet another vacation 喝 too much and feeling shitty. While I really want to drink 那 glass of wine and look out at the ocean, I 能够 still look at the ocean without the wine. I’我不会死我可能会喜欢,但我赢了’t actually die.

    And I 没有’喝酒,我度过了整个周末,过得很清醒。我感到非常自豪,我听了美女’s advice and started feeling better 那 day. I 没有’t wait.

  • 我爱那辆车… as it 能够 take me anywhere, anytime I want to go somewhere, do something I would not have been able to do if I was still 喝, fighting off Wolfie every day.
    达y 73 今天 and it feels amazing to get up, head and body ready for another day of driving anywhere and doing anything I want to do. Sun is shining, here I come…

  • 同意也许吧’就像在街上寻找四叶草或幸运的一分钱。醒来,说“today I’ll find one”(当然,不从床上起床!)在大多数情况下可能不起作用。一世’ve definitely tried 那. And then I started walking … and then some day, I actually find a five euro note. And then? Not picking it up because it’错误的幸运点击标志?一世’m not THAT stupid! 😉

  • This is very Zen, and just perfect for me 今天. I just need to do something, anything, other than pour on the liquid shit of course, 那 never worked.

  • No one ever really wants to quit 喝, after the remnants of the hangover are gone. We forget how embarrassed, sick, tired and anxiety ridden we were. Never have I said 那 I felt great after a night of 喝. Nope not ever! Fun? I thought all my fun times were over when I quit. They’ve only just begun. Imagine I just got home , and it’s dark.

  • 第22天,不含酒精。 “女巫”在下午5点到7点之间大声招呼….grrrrrrr. But then I remember the lovely pink clouds 那 surround me each morning with clarity and energy- and 那’s what I focus on. Ding dong the wine witch is dead yet another day…

  • Thinking about cars and driving- one of the pros of giving up 喝 I 能够 help out with picking up family from the station at night! In the past 我不能’在帮助家人之前,酒​​来了。它’s great to feel so free from thinking about 喝 (coming up to day 100)and I thinking of 那 new car I always fancied but 没有’认为我应得的(对我来说太好了!)–由于不参加酒会(和专职司机)将是一个不错的奖励。现在设想一种颜色来匹配新的我!

  • Actually for me it was a relief to know there were things 那 I could DO to help me resist 喝 ( especially at the beginning). Because all I’d ever been told was “you’ll get it one day” and “keep coming back” or “it works if you work it”…. all those things sounded like riddles to me. Somehow 我不能’t “get” what everyone else seemed to.
    I don’t mind hard work and doing as long as I 能够 believe there’s a point to it and things will improve.
    因此,向我展示尝试不同的工具和想法对我来说是一个突破。
    I certainly never felt like it but I was sick and tired of feeling like crap all the time. And for 那 reason I was desperate to try anything.
    所以我想我的建议是给坐在围栏上的任何人-随便走动。继续尝试不同的事物,永不放弃。即使看起来不可能….. 永不放弃。最后很值得-

  • True! You WANT to 别喝酒了 but you DON’T FEEL LIKE IT until you get a few days of sobriety and then you CLING to 那 with all you have and next thing you know you’ve been SOBER FOR WAY LONGER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED… and it’s good 😎

  • 太好了…我们喜欢在驾驶真正的汽车时进行权衡…确实需要努力才能使我们的清醒汽车继续行驶。但是可以肯定的是,带我们去了我们从未想到的地方-谢谢Belle xxxx

  • 经过290天的清醒之后,我现在发生了“不再考虑饮酒”的事情!但是我记得我一直在不停地思考着我是否在家中有足够的东西,我有多少,我把酒放到哪里,我剩下了多少,我是否需要外出购物呢。等等,听起来确实很累。感谢您有机会谈论这一点。

  • 上个周末,在听到关于像我这样的人(贝尔)的消息后,我等待了一段时间。我只是决定将自己扔下悬崖,直到现在,我还没有坠落。

  • Oh my word yes!! A car 能够 take me places but I mUst use’due diligence”在学习驾驶汽车。并从开车的人那里知道如何导航。感谢Belles LJC

  • 我也喜欢汽车类比。我在大草原上长大,在那里您开始驾驶任何可以动手的东西–只要你能动手–自行车,雪地摩托,拖拉机,旧的破旧车,等等。我确实感觉自己正在旅途中,因此必须确保我的车值得行驶。第35天… I’m在旅途中,音乐响亮,唱歌,风吹着我的头发–我眼中的冒险。谢谢贝尔。

      • 哦耶!臀部 –很幸运去渥太华参加他们的演出… don’t want to say the “last”节目!卡车停靠俱乐部和黑咖啡– here I come! xo

  • 我是在第25天。我无意查找此博客。我无意挑战100天,也不认为有可能在不到25天的时间内从我的生活中摘除葡萄酒,并感觉到更美好,更强大。但是我偶然发现了博客,看到了挑战,它引起了共鸣,尽管有些怀疑和恐惧,但我还是跳了起来。直到第4天,我才告诉丈夫我正在接受挑战。然后我开始告诉所有人。

    我每天收听播客,一分钟消息,阅读帖子,阅读书籍,并使用多种其他工具(晚上工作1-2个小时,外加补充饮料(康普茶),然后给自己一个大大的享受。 2-3个布朗尼咬方块?算上我。在新锅里放一朵新鲜的兰花?绝对。沐浴有香气的东西,听播客。真是的有时候我不’等两天请客,我一天要请客。我不’不在乎,因为我只是想感觉更好,就是我。

    事实上,说实话,我想自己会击败沃尔夫,而不只是告诉他闭嘴。一世’m like Trinity from the Matrix dodging the Wolfie bullets in 3D and kicking the shit out of 那 fucker. As Leslie Jones says “Slay All 达y!” and I am slaying 那 Wolfie.

    By the way 美女, GREAT idea to give it a name and objectify 那 voice into something we 能够 fight, instead of fighting ourselves. Have we all talked recently about how brilliant, brave and inspiring 美女 is and all of you out there are? Seriously, you people blow me away. Thank you for every word you have taken the time to write on this blog because I have read them and they were words 那 I held on to for dear life.

    对于那些苦苦挣扎的人,请从SOBER TOOLBOX上倒入工具。不要对这些东西有所保留。是的,我’我去洗个澡。不,我赢了’不要捡狗屎。是的,我会睡觉。是的,我会吃通心粉&每天晚上起司。操你,你这混蛋的混蛋。滚出我家!等一下,过来,让我穿着牛仔靴踢你的屁股。这里还在做什么,因为我告诉过你滚蛋!

    And guess what, after the listening, bathing, eating, visualizing, working out, slathering on smell good stuff and the replacement drinks, he leaves. And I try to make sure 那 he is humiliated in the process because 那 makes me feel good. Then I wake up with a clear head and my dignity in tact. And I smile because I fought the wolf and won one more day. I say girl you fucked him up. Bet you 能够’等不及今晚把他带走。顺便说一句,你的挥杆和踢腿越来越强— I like what I’我看到是因为你凶猛

  • An extremely 功率ful and kickass post. this really cuts through the bullshit. I will keep this one at hand to reread in times of weakness. This is the post I would show someone who is starting to worry about their 喝. Tough, goofy, SMART – but above all, 功率ful. Thank you for this, 美女.

  • 我的清醒汽车从充满意愿的坦克开始…愿意放弃因我饮酒而造成的情绪苦难。我的意愿来自于要求,无论您相信还是不相信’不要相信,如果您的清醒车在溅水,就会熄火…试试看。要求采取清醒行动的意愿…来自您信任的任何来源。一世“hear”使用Belle作为网站上的许多偷窥者“power”。我爱你,美女,我感谢您对我和其他寻求清醒的人的勤奋,但是您’re not 功率ful enough to keep me sober, tho you help a lot … my willlingness, my sober car runs from a fuel supplied by a 功率 greater than myself, a BIG POWER.

  • 哇–很高兴阅读这个有用的博客以及回复者。停止饮酒30多年后,今天我仍然有恶魔般的想法要回到饮酒’醉酒的社会。所以我拒绝了为我们小组的志愿服务’的艺术表演,当时他们想让我品尝葡萄酒(“that’这是人们来的唯一途径);我没有’t take the San Diego group hike 那 ended at the microbrewery; I 没有’去当地的瑜伽馆喝酒&瑜伽开放我没有’t go to my friend’玛格丽塔酒庆祝大团圆& tequila shots …感觉我想做的所有社交活动都涉及饮酒。对我来说不是一个好地方。所以我’我一个人很多。我刚刚找到了这个博客,’s good to know others who are sober are out there struggling to find an enriched social life 那 doesn’包括饮酒。我希望有一天我能遇到附近的其他人,他们热爱生活,不喜欢’t push AA because it’dog狗时只能与他人交往而变得孤独。

  • 今天早上对我来说是第六天的开始。这是我今早在喝咖啡时写给我清醒三年朋友的电子邮件的摘录…

    “我想变得更健康,并感觉良好(头脑,身体,灵魂),而我不’不想让任何东西消耗我的生命/时间/精力/精力/收入…我要平衡。我很高兴,大部分时间都是有生产力的,在学校做得很棒。我的孩子快乐,健康,适应良好,我的关系非常融洽,我为自己能走多远而感到感激’我离开婚姻以来已经来了…然而,旧习惯很难改掉。我觉得我仍未以健康的方式应对,喝酒是我无法缺少的拐杖和舒适,你要知道,那是我年轻时的一顶旧帽子,我准备扔掉那顶帽子。一世’正如您所知,我从未与酒精有过健康的关系,这就是为什么对于我自己来说我知道它必须是无酒精而不是适度酒精。我的大脑不’用这种方式接线。我一直在想戒烟,谈论它,削减开支,但继续以同样疲惫,自欺欺人的习惯继续前进。然后我一直看到迹象—这里的一篇文章,那里的一篇文章,一瞥,那一点(又名现实)—直到一个早晨醒来,知道我已经准备好了。它没有’不要因为灾难,损失或跌倒而下定决心,因为我比现在更强大,更聪明,因为现在我珍惜自己和生命,并相信自己确实值得幸福。往回望,很容易看到与我饮酒有关的所有可耻,尴尬,痛苦的回忆。显而易见,决策不力,缺乏责任感和损失。只是因为我的机能不高’t mean it’没问题。而且,我不’不想让乌云笼罩我的生活或以这种方式控制我。我做完。我已承诺100天,但很可能会超出这些天。现在,我一次只服用一天—不将天数倒数到100,而是期待我的下一杯,而是数着美好的日子,当我接近目标时,我会变得更加强大和自豪。”

    If we 没有’t start as we meant to go on, we 能够 start again. We 能够 start as many times as it takes until it sticks. Fear and doubt are natural, I think, but I’我学会了好奇心来解决恐惧—陷入我的恐惧—因为恐惧就意味着我们’重新接近真理(PemaChödrön)。

    最好,
    b。

    • I suppose I should clarify 那 “starting again”通常是关于生活的选择,而不是清醒的生活。例如,我在30年代中期开始上大学,这是我一生中无数次推迟做的事情。随着年龄的增长,我的恐惧和忧虑只会增加(灾难性的后果!),我的思想和不值得的感觉也会增加。在继续之前,我申请了无数次。生命中开始上大学的“想法”令人生畏…还有,文书工作!但是,事实是,无论是在结束婚姻之后重建生活,寻求支持网络,开始新的工作/上学还是戒酒,我都必须停止等待事情发生变化并开始工作。我为此感到高兴,并且更加自信。我的前景更加光明,生活质量不断提高。渐渐地,突然:)

  • 哇。太神奇了。这给了我迅速的打击。那’s me standing there, waiting for 那 magical moment. Click received. Time for me to get out of bed and start 那 car!

  • 多年来我’ve been one of the many moms drowning their exhaustion and stress in booze. Happily 喝 (lots of booze) at social events in front of their children while having conversations about how sad it is 那 we have drug &我们高中的饮酒问题。阅读社交媒体上有关喝酒妈妈的笑话“It’s wine-o-clock” “我做瑜伽是为了减轻压力。我的意思是我在瑜伽裤上喝红酒”等等。我们的父母希望孩子们一切顺利,拒绝看到我们的行为与青少年成瘾的悲伤现实之间有任何联系。

    I know 那 sobriety is what’对我和我的孩子们最好,但我’ve been waiting to FEEL like I am strong enough to take a stand and BE 那 sober mom in the midst of this culture.

    Your post 今天 is spot on for me, 美女. Not only must I start, but I must move the car, and then keep it rolling, and keep it in the middle of the road. It have to BE 那 sober mom and then I 能够 feel like it.

    大拥抱!

    • 因为站在那里(努力)’足够。我们必须做不同的事情。将钥匙放在车上,加油,上一些课,检查我们的肩膀,…

      • 这使我知道还有其他一些了解妈妈戏的人Ck。让’为我们的孩子尽最大努力!

    • RI–我真的很喜欢你的评论。我有同样的感觉。醉酒的妈妈里面所有窃笑的笑话。为什么奥蒂斯(Otis)醉在小镇上既有趣又有趣? (那’的安迪·格里芬(反射)-他喝醉了。妈妈’晚上出去玩,妈妈和我在派对场或玛格丽塔酒派对,伏特加和蔓越莓’在足球比赛中的热水瓶中…继续。但是,为什么不’这些人会把reg旗当做bo子吗?它’可爱又有趣。我没有’当我的时候不会感到可爱或有趣。我感到害怕并且嚼了很多口香糖—didn’想/不想有人知道!我从未感到骄傲。 RI–要坚强,要当妈妈站起来。一世’ll stand with you!

      • I’我自己一直在嚼很多口香糖。我想我’我终于受够了。是的,我’我也会和你站在一起清醒的妈妈大队!

  • 我不能’t agree more with this. I waited to feel like it for three years until one day I had damaged my liver so bad 那 my body was in the worst shape ever and Instead of waiting to feel like it, I fessed up to my doctor how much I drank. Saying it out loud was such a relief. , ( embarassing, but a relief.) He helped me take action when my brain 没有’不想。请检查您的肝酶…. talk to someone…… Don’让狼人告诉你”再喝一晚酒”…..您永远不会想停下来,只是在早上,然后数小时后再次浮现欲望…..恶性循环继续….sorry for the rant…. I’ve just been there.

  • 我们喝酒是因为我们喝酒是因为我们喝酒。它以它为食’自己的自我。我们喝酒是因为我们喝酒后会感到难受,尴尬或渺小。然后我们再喝酒再决定’s not so bad….wait…我们感到难过,尴尬和渺小…nobody understands….we drink…..我们感到难过,尴尬和渺小….it’就像发动汽车,电池没电或接线不正确’t working…像您的汽车在寒冷的早晨发声的方式?那 ’停止和开始是什么样的。最后,通过该站点,我们可以翻转引擎并开始滚动。

  • Absolutely wonderful and insightful post, 美女! I went through all 那 first of the month, after vacation crap, and then one day, the click came. In the middle of the month, in the middle of the week. Your click will help someone, give him/her permission to get driving lessons.

  • 这是真的!您要尽一切努力保持汽车行驶,以便到达其他地方 …you need to do things, and work at it, to get started on sobriety. Both things get much easier after you get them going. And to wait for the 对 time is just our way of procrastinating and staying in 那 miserable comfort zone. When you’re 喝 a lot, regularly, 那’几乎所有您知道的操作方法及其’s scary to give 那 up –但您也知道它不再对您有用–所以给它一个机会。您可以随时回到喝酒的地方,但是我保证’ll enjoy life much more without the numbing, regrets and shame 那 go with it.

  • Love this. Action first, then the feelings come later. A lesson I have learned in other parts of my life many times over. The willingness to do what it takes. One time there were some folks at my church 那 were admiring (or envious) of my professional accomplishments. I commented 那 in order to attain them, I had to drive to a city 2 hours away hundreds of times, and not once did I ever feel like doing it. Did it get easier? Yes. But I never felt like doing it. Their jaws were hanging open. I think when it comes down to the nitty gritty we half-expect some kind of magic to take over.

    我认为当个酒鬼就像在一个宗教崇拜中。您’ve been brainwashed and everyone else 能够 see it, it’如此明显,但是对您来说,这是您所知道的唯一的舒适和安全感。突破需要勇气,时间,耐心,爱心,通常需要外界的帮助。

    我偶然发现了一部最近拍摄的纪录片“There’黛安姨妈出事了 ”. The chilling tale of a horrific car crash 那 killed 8 people a few years ago in New York State. Although Diane was drunk and high as proven by the autopsy, questions swirled as to how it could be 那 no one knew Diane had a substance abuse problem. Her family remains in denial Chilling indeed.

  • 等待停止酒的感觉就像等待金钱树在花园中间弹出一样,这样您就不会’t have to work – ain’不会发生!从第一步开始,采取行动就可以启动汽车,而且感觉会发生变化。–总是那么多智慧。