点击

从潜伏者D:  从其他经验中,我知道“the 点击”发生[为了我和清醒]—表示我将执行此操作的开关— it’就像铺设了看不见的轨道,即使它’s still hard, it’s 几乎 like a foregone conclusion … I’经历了不喝酒的时期’太糟糕了,我可以’t seem to make the 点击 现在想再次变得清醒。

Can 您 offer any sense of how 您 finally made the 点击 happen — why was it different when 您 finally gave up drinking? What made the switch? I’m sure 您’d想了很多次。有什么不同?

我:  You’re asking interesting questions. 我认为that a lot of people 有 to 有 some kind of a ‘bottom’ before they quit. Something at risk, something in jeopardy.

The problem then, of course, is 那 即使在 they to quit, the wolfie voice 那 says “it’s not so bad 您 can just 有 one” is so loud 那 they can’t barely turn it off 即使在 他们将失去工作,失去孩子,失去婚姻。

我没有’t 有 a 点击 either. I guess 您 could argue 那 我没有’t 变得清醒。我没有 ’t …丢了我的工作(尚未),丢了我的婚姻(尚未),得到了DUI(还)。除了我知道我错过了— on opportunities, on feeling 好, on 好 sleep, on restful vacations. I knew 那 i was drinking more than I 想ed to. I just couldn’t想出如何少喝酒…

我没有’点击一下。相反,我意识到,即使我很难离开几天,那可能已经表明存在问题。如果还不成问题,它将很快成为一个问题。

因此,我认为我可以向自己证明自己处于控制之中,即使我的生活“很好”(哈!),我还是尝试戒了30天(7月下旬)。那个挺难。很难。而且我不能一个人做。不认识别人也做不到的事情。

The feelings of being ‘outside’ when 您 first stop drinking are hard. But once 您 are brave enough to reach out to people who understand 那, 有 ideas on how to navigate 那, 和 who’ve lived through 那 — well, without support it was too hard for me to do. I couldn’t do it ‘alone’. [You do not 有 to be a blogger to be sober. At all. But if 您 don’t blog, 您 might benefit hugely from having a sober penpal.]

我没有’t 有 a 点击. I did not wake up one day determined to get 和 be sober.

Instead, I thought “I’ll give up drinking for 30 days 和 then I’ll decide.” 那’s all.

清醒约9天后,我意识到这比我想象的要难得多……因此,通过对清醒的博客进行评论,我获得了一些责任感和帮助,然后我开始了自己的博客。但是并不是每个人都需要写博客,就是我。

但是,是的,我清醒地感到“外在”和悲伤。但时间不长。一旦感到清醒,我的余生就不再是神奇的光荣,这让我感到烦躁和不安。但是那种悲伤的感觉并没有持续很长时间。清醒的好处远远超过了弊端 一旦我有清醒的时间在一起.

在清醒的早期,决定任何事情都太困难了。狼人的声音太大了。我知道让他妈的声音闭上足够长的时间以使我做出明智的决定的唯一方法是保持清醒,持续至少90天… which is why the ‘100 day’ 挑战 … in my mind, it gives 您 the gift of clarity.

If 您 don’t think sobriety is worth it, 您 could drink again at the end of 100天s.  But if 您 get to 100天s, things really DO seem different just by being there.  Every single sober person I’ve communicated with has complained 那 the wolfie voice won’t stop when they’重新尝试戒酒。我所读过(或经历过)唯一对我有意义的答案是:停止饮酒 talk to other people who 有 been through the same thing to realize 那 您’re not crazy.  Get a sober penpal. Read sober blogs. And 有 faith 那 it will get better.

And after a bit of time, when i was reading sober blogs, I realized 那 I ‘wanted what they seemed to 有’: the people with longer term sobriety seemed to 有 a peace of mind 和 a relief from the compulsive crazy thoughts 那 just.don’t.stop.  好, the compulsive crazy feelings do NOT stop until 您 dehydrate the wolf… (I wrote this on day 50ish of sobriety: http://kanatlievim.com/2012/08/20/dehydrate-the-wolf/ ).  Get sober.  Everything else happens after 那 point.

我希望其中一些有用。拥抱我

美女

I 想 to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I 想 to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. 日期 of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Thank 您 all! 美女, I am honored to be included in 您r blog 和 am so grateful to everyone’s comments.

    我没有’我不知道这篇文章即将到来,而摘录是来自Belle的一个电子邮件交易所,我已经有一段时间了。当我昨天读到这篇文章时,我感到非常震惊,陷入了我以前的沮丧中’t explained myself properly (I think only a couple people got what I meant). By no means does the Click refer to a Bottom or Very Bad Things (though they could potentially prompt the 点击). Rather, it refers to 那 internal shift–这种转变使您从思考某件事转变为实际去做(无论是工作类别,运动,孩子等,可能是任何事情),而没有它,它就不会’无论您为自己设定的目标是什么–周,月,100天,年–the goal doesn’吸引您的心灵,因此很容易被丢弃。也许我应该包括一个“or”问题是这样的:当80%的人在说时,您如何做自己的意愿并实际做到“Noooooooo! I’m not ready 然而!”

    相信我,在过去的六个月里’我已经广泛阅读了该主题(我的专业),并尝试了许多方法来推动变革,包括“committing”到100天但是‘you’re fine’声音不断取胜。我的‘yet’ isn’没有任何戏剧性的事情(例如,我无法想象醉酒时驾驶,并且绝对尊重其他观点,我不’相信这些事情对每个人都是进步的,我不’t订阅AA或疾病视图)。在某种程度上,它’更糟(因为它’更容易忽略),它’关于未实现的潜力的更多方法–逃跑,较慢的比赛时间,多余的体重,不努力尝试职业生涯,不面对艰难的决定…一般不努力–但是这些当然是生活的本质。

    Anyway, as I was giving all this thought yesterday, provoked by this post, a part of me realized, all of my thinking was beside the point, because: It is time to get off the freaking fence already. So I had a 点击 of sorts, I suppose, but I can see already 那 this time it’s not going to make it all 那 much easier, but it still needs to be done, 和 this time for 好 (previously I’已经走了几个月甚至几年)。

    Anyway, thank 您 to everyone, there is definitely something special about seeing the issue in black 和 white like this 和 feeling heard.

    • 潜伏者D,我’m so glad 您 feel this post was helpful : ) I definitely understood exactly the 点击 您 were talking about. Lots of people can wake up 和 ‘change’ 和 others need to ‘fall down’ before they 更改. Others do a lot of research first 和 then dip their toe into ‘change’。您的问题完全有效。

      一件与我们所有人相似的事情—我们到达了一个事实’t ‘good’够了。我们的方式’re living isn’t 好 enough. we 想 something else, something better. something different (and unknown perhaps) but something ELSE. Cuz what we’re doing ain’t working. So we’re on to Plan B. Let’尝试100天的清醒,看看感觉如何。 (事实证明,’很难,而且感觉很棒。)

      much love from me. hear 您 loud 和 clear.

  • I decided to quit after a binging on vacation. I realized 那 I can not be moderate 和它 will be easier to just stop then to try to ever imagine being moderate again…我也很幸运,我没有违反法律,DUI….could 有 和 那 would 有 been terrible. My job depends on driving, I do home visits for the elderly. So I did not hit rock 底部, It did just kind of 点击ed in my brain, at first I was just going to do the 100天 挑战 but then it turned into maybe this could be it. I am done drinking.
    zi子

  • 那’s interesting. I’我也确实在计划。我希望成为“for real” — not like when 您 feel like shit 和 您 有 this reflex 和 say “that’s it I quit” but 您 don’t really mean it.

  • AA没有’也不会与我产生共鸣。我确实在“清醒女性”委员会上获得了很多支持。我喜欢它的是’s designed to build 您r self-esteem. There are many women on there who are long-term sober but who still hear wolfie occasionally. The difference is 那 您 get the tools to stick it out…。并停止感到内gui和cr脚。我的“mistake” was straying from the boards 和 convincing myself 那 I could moderate. Epistemologyofaperpetualstruggle, 您 CAN do this. I’我正在进行100天挑战。跟我做

  • I am battling 那 Voice 和它 is winning. Someone in AA–a program I despise–said 那 once 您 decide to quit 您 don’不必再战斗了。那不可能’t be further from the truth. I am out of my mind right now. Thank 您 for this post as it gives me a glimmer of hope 那 if I stick it out I will get relief.

  • I’我很早就知道我需要退出 –完全。没有节制对我不起作用。我想在这仍然是我的决定时,在可怕的事情发生之前辞职。我需要一个计划。我认为这是我的工具箱。我计划了一个约会,找到并阅读了所有清醒的博客,读了一些很棒的清醒的书,以及“date” I drank up all the wine in the house. I was pumped up 和 ready to go. On 那 日期 – 我没有’t drink 和 有n’在89天内喝醉了。避风港’它没有任何问题。爱我的新生活。现在…我可能并不典型,但是’这对我如何起作用。哦–我也开始参加AA,并找到了赞助商。我穿“fuck 您 wolfie”每天手镯,是Belle的忠实会员’100天的挑战。我的工具箱已满–需要我的支持!

  • 好…I’经历过所有这些“yets,” 和 , it wasn’那些让我感到难受的人之一“the 点击.”我想知道为什么在发生了所有事情之后,在所有的悔恨之后(我正在重新阅读我的“day after”日记是另一天(OOF),那为什么要追溯到2012年6月呢?我只能说,我受够了。我想我太疲倦了,无法保持清醒,厌倦了追赶嗡嗡声。主要是要向自己证明自己我最终可以做到这一点,并且我可以安全地避免再次发生的坏事或可怕的宿醉。

    Like 美女 says, 和它 was true for me, I just had had enough, but…清醒的时间越长,我就越来越意识到为什么要清醒,为什么必须这样做。然后我获得了动力,那“blind choice” to quit (is what it felt like), where 您 can’t see what’s ahead 和 您’re fighting the cravings for what, 您 can’t really see–that choice starts to become more real, less of a 点击 那 seems outside 您r own grasp. Getting into 您r sober car 和 just pressing on the gas is the nature of it; we can only start to see the scenery if we’在那辆车上开车。

  • 我认为“the 底部” might be a bad thing. Everyone knows 您 don’t quit until 您 hit “rock 底部,” right? Except I am far, far from rock 底部 but still pretty uncomfortable with how much I drink, 和 just 想 to see what sobriety has to teach me. I’我很乐意将我的30天延长到更长的时间。无论如何,这让我感到奇怪的是,有多少人因拒绝入境而停留的时间更长“yets,” so they don’t think it’s a problem… 然而.

  • 我非常非常了解‘click’ –用什么方式把我没有的东西写出来’能够表达出来。对我来说’与坏事发生或与‘bottom’. It’是我内部一种无形的,不确定的力量,使事情发生。而且它吓倒了我,因为它可以像翻转一样容易(似乎没有韵律或理由),似乎也可以翻转。一年前,我辞职了9个月,因为开关突然松开了。然后,突然之间,力量消失了。然后我回到饮酒。所以,现在’s back –在醉酒的一夜难过之后突然摔倒了’那天晚上不是我最糟糕的一天’d在任何方面都具有甚至非凡的成就– 和 I’m riding it out by ‘almost’享受这个戒烟。我担心它会消失…and it’s 几乎 like when it does, it’我已成定局’ll drink.

    It’不只是喝酒’ve experienced this 点击 either. I once exercised four times a week, without missing a DAY, for two years. Through broken toes, pregnancies, stomach flus, sleepless nights, vacations, whatever. The switch was flipped 和 so it was. Then, it went away 和 I’我再也无法夺回那种力量或动力了。

  • 在我最近犯了一个错误以为自己可以“just one or two.” It wasn’除其他外触发“也许我得到了这个东西。我勒个去?试试看。”几次,我很好。但是,还有其他的时候坏事发生了。我不’不必详细说明*那些*是什么。所以,我现在正处于’m接受明显的观点:不可能适度。我的“click”之前几乎要获得DUI…这会导致失去孩子的抚养权,失去我的执照并因此失去我的工作(这是一个小时加上通勤时间),我可以继续下去。我的“click”现在意识到如果我喝酒,’只是定时炸弹。我曾经是,现在仍然是“清醒女性”委员会的成员。潜伏者D,他们称呼您和我以及贝儿这样的人,“Yets.” You 有n’丢了工作然而。你避风港’失去了你的关系。然而。你避风港’使自己陷入DUI,事故或逮捕之类的可怕境地。然而。它’如果您不这样做,将不可避免’停下来。喝酒是一件令人讨厌的事情。过了一会儿,它就会接手,而狼人会尽一切可能证明这一点。进入YET的顶部空间非常重要。那’这是我第一次关闭狼人的方式’s how I’我这次将其关闭。对我来说,“我太老了,不愿意再当青年”非常有用。从我十几岁起,我每天就喝酒两次。我没有’这次还没有达到这一点,我也不愿意。我在这里。我回来了,参加了世界粮食首脑会议的董事会。我在和清醒的朋友聊天。我很不情愿地开始治疗。勉强地,仅仅是因为疏通旧的粪便令人非常痛苦,而且由于我为避免痛苦而喝酒,所以在变得更好之前就更难了。的“click”将会发生。这只需要时间。