关于“从不”的思考使我们陷入困境

K说:“非常感激能参加这个挑战–它在很多方面帮助了我。”

然后我说“can 您 elaborate?” and she says …

Well, i have to say 那 i have about 100 reasons not to drink, but when i have a craving or someone asks me if i want to go out for beers … i often can’想不到我不喝酒的原因之一。 [它 ’明天会让我感到绝对地狱?它’贵吗?当我的一个室友在凌晨四点醒来尿尿时,我看起来像个傻瓜。’我独自一人在黑暗的起居室里,像明天一样被锤击和饮酒,这在我的词汇中是不是一个字? 当我想喝酒时. Or i tell myself i will behave this time and will drink normally, and go to bed when everyone else does. (i 决不 do.)

作为挑战的一部分,我已经不再可以选择喝酒了,所以在最近几周被要求去喝酒时,我的回答是绝对的,“no thank 您.” It’是我想到的第一件事,也是唯一一件事。

also what i 喜欢about the 挑战 is 那 it is 100 days — not 永远。 in the past, i have gone from 喝 my brains out, to saying i am going to stop 永远。 and then a really enticing opportunity to drink would arise and i would think, “well 永远 can start tomorrow,或在xyz事件之后。” A hundred days is a very short time compared to 永远, and for now it is a number 那 seems more significant than 30 and easier to swallow than, say, 365.

*

It’s funny 那 K wrote about “forever”因为我刚刚按照相同的思路给Carrie写了些东西。我为Carrie写了两次,因为在24小时内,她两次分别问了几乎相同的问题。

I do believe 那 关于“从不”的思考使我们陷入困境.  in early sobriety, everything is hard. so the BIG idea of ‘never’ is just 现在太多了.

the only plan I have is to not drink today.  and perhaps not drink tomorrow.  the rest of it, I’ll deal with it when it comes.  and the longer I’m 清醒 , the more I realize 那 I’m likely to continue treating it the same way I have up to now. and 那 is a huge giant fucking relief.

is it 决不? 我不’t even have to think about what 决不 means.  I just have to do my thing.  and keep doing it.  rise, lather, repeat.  sure, I’m sure 那 ‘never’ gives a kind of comfort, but I’m just the kind of girl who hates rigid rules and might just rebel.  so I know me 好 enough, 那 if I’ve found something 那’s working, I’m not changing it.  not even a tiny bit.  I’m just doing this.  again.  and again tomorrow 🙂

所有混乱的想法(“is this 永远?”) do stop.  It’s just wolfie rebelling, trying to find loopholes, ways out, ways to drink again.  and here’s the TRUTH:  您’re doing fine. even if 您 don’t believe me.  [this is why 您’ve reached out for advice from others, because 您 truly can’t tell… 那 您’re ALREADY doing everything right.]

您’re not 喝 .  那’s it. 那’s all 您 have to do 🙂

美女

我想将此放在网上,以追究自己的责任。我想记录一下我头上的声音。我厌倦了考虑喝酒。上次饮用日期:2012年6月30日

  • I think one thing 那 AA does really 好 is to tell us to ‘keep it in the day’. This works with everything, not just 喝 . Like 您 say 美女 , “一切都是一切”! Currently I am off sick with anxiety and panic attacks. What works in decreasing the anxiety is remembering 那 the things 那 I am anxious about have not happened, may not happen, and whatever – they aren’t here right now!

  • It’s day one, of 30 day ones at least this year. 那’s starting over once a month 永远。 那’s a dismal 永远。 I’ll try this thing instead. I ate breakfast. I’m taking a bath. These are different things than I normally do when I start over. Usually I punish myself for 喝 . I’m going to reward myself for not.

  • I just woke up to day 2. My pain is almost unbearable right now. It’s not 那 I want to drink, I just want the pain and self loathing to go away. I want to climb back in bed and not get up. I also feel so narcissistic because all I do is think of poor me. Please be patient with me through my self pity.

  • This was great. I have often said I was 决不 going to drink again but it 决不 works. I’我今天不会这样做,那我明天会洗,起泡,重复。一次一天。

  • 嗨,美女。一世’m not sure how I found 您r blog, but I’我很感激。我曾尝试过AA,但与人相处却很难。今天,我开始挑战,我刚刚读了有关Wolfie的文章。你,我有沮丧,但喝酒没有’t fix it. Thank 您 for 您r blog!! 玛丽 Anne

    • 当我展望一个周末时,我也会发生同样的事情…i get nervous about no 醇 . BUT when i take it one event at a time and think about the weekend as a day 喜欢any other, it helps. 我不t even mind being around other people who are 喝 . Im my own temptation. I really 喜欢to drink whether im alone, or no matter the occasion…so…. I can relate to 您r dread but think how great no hangover, impaired driving, and no stupid remarks can be!!

  • 永远很难消化。它’s a nice way to think about it, 那 it doesn’不管是什么意思,我们不’不必考虑。只是不要’今天喝。我今天不喝酒。我还没有’t drank for 25 full days before today. Thank 您 for this post

  • Forever is really scary. I look back at today one year ago, and it seems 喜欢ages and ages. So much happens in just one year. For me, my goal is one year, and then in one year, I’重新评估并制定更多计划。

  • Thank 您. 30 days AF. This is such a part of my subconscious right now (forever!) even when I just try to think day to day. I needed to read this post.

  • 太好了,我喜欢这些帖子和所有评论(是的,我阅读了所有评论,感谢大家分享!)如何扭曲我的想法并向我展示一些新东西。
    我将此概念应用于生活的其他领域,所以不确定为什么我没有’不要将其应用于饮酒之前。一世’我已经吃了25年的植物性饮食’我什至不考虑了’在自己身上贴上标签’是我吃的东西,而不是我的身份(例如,我是素食主义者),我更喜欢专注于选择而不是标签,我的朋友都没有吃我的菜,只是’t matter, they don’我也不介意。新人们可能会问我,“you’re a vegetarian? You’ll 决不 eat meat again!?”我通常会回覆“我明天可能会选择牛排,谁知道我赢了’t say 决不, but I highly doubt it as it’已经25年了,没有它,我感觉很好,所以今天,’s a no.” 那 works for me… and now I’将其应用于饮酒。完善!

  • Day 4. Struggling today with not 喝 . Because I want to so much. I want to do the thing 那 works for me when I want to relax, and avoid my whirling mind. But 我不’t want the aftermath of 那 – which is self-hate, returning to 那 喝 spiral, and a sense of lack of control. So today instead of 思维 about not 喝 永远 I’我会考虑今天不喝酒。然后明天可能会更容易做出相同的选择。

    • I’m not even sure if my reply will show up, being 那 is a couple of years after the original post…无论如何这就是我的感觉。半昏迷的今天是第5天。但是因为我昨天喝了一杯,所以今天是第1天。放屁。它’s scary.

  • I’在清醒的三周后,实际上,我发现“NEVER”相当舒适,一点也不限制。我说“never”几十年前,当我停止吃肉时,’不要回头一次。我说“never” to drugs in any form, and 决不 even took one puff of a joint, despite dating (and marrying) guys who did, early and often (NB: husband said “nevermore” to marijuana when he graduated from law school, and 决不 started back up, thank goodness)—所以,我对清醒的想法没有任何疑问“forever.”有一阵子,我以为是因为我以为我’d最终温和,但现在我’ve concluded 那 I’ll 决不 (that word again!) be able to do 那, 好, here’一辈子不喝酒曾经

    • 有很多人对这个词感觉很好‘never’ – and 那’s fabulous. and i’m sure it’相当不错的感觉。我不是其中之一ðŸ™,“不是现在,我有太多事情要做,我’ve got a busy life, got no time for 那 stuff.”

  • I will have to explain to my 喝 pal this weekend 那 I will not be having wine with her. I’我打算说我’m doing this 100 day detox or maybe more, but I will cross 那 bridge when I get there. I often would stay over because she lives far away, but I have already said no to 那 and I’我为保护自己感到骄傲。这100天可能会让我们周围的人有时间进行调整。

  • 我只是在说“never”和我的治疗师。它如何吓到我了…and she suggested just taking 90 days, for example. And then reevalute then. My only problem is, what if then I evalutate 那 I can drink again!? 我不’t want any reasons 那 my addictive mind can latch onto…like “I’我已经做了90天,现在我可以喝了!”
    I could also try doing one day at a time. But what if one day, I decided 那 那 day I can drink? Or do I wake up every morning and say “今天,我只专注于今天,今天我不会喝酒”?
    我不’不知道。这一切似乎太不可能了。但是话又说回来,我的大脑一直在想“forever” and “never” so…

    • 对我有用的是不断调整‘finish’ line. at day 95 您 renew to day 180. at day 175 您 update to day 365. 和so on. my current plan is to drink in 23 years when i retire. 那 seems to work for my brain. because ‘never’ doesn’也不能为我工作…

  • 我只是在说this today with a good friend of mine. The words “forever” and “never”把活的东西吓出来因此,我将一次服用30天,直到达到90天为止。我觉得小脚步可以带领我迈向大脚步。

  • 我同意– 决不 is harrowing to think of. But to be fair “never” for anything is not something the human brain copes with very 好 I think. Imagine being told 您 are 决不 going to have sugar again or some other substance. The fact is we would probably cope without sugar but the “never”让人无法理解,突然之间我们的反应是什么– panic – must obtain before “never”开始!不必使用此术语。我有一个强烈的愿望,那就是不要喝酒,享受我正在经历的所有这些美好的好处。一切都在措辞中!!

    • 我同意as 好, getting “never”从词汇表上总结出来是个好主意。一世’到目前为止,在短短的26天里,我有很多时间思考,而我倾向于反复思考为什么我’我不喝酒好像我’我告诉别人,也告诉自己。说实话’开始听起来不错。我不’不要喝,因为它不’t make me feel good…I don’睡觉时,我会经常生病,这不利于我的身体或健康。我现在想沉浸在更健康的习惯中,喝酒并不能’不适合这种新生活。

      今天的消息提醒我不要再想了‘never’然后想一想现在让我感觉良好的是什么。现在对我有用的是什么。谁知道未来会带来什么,以及我未来会有什么教训,但是就目前而言,不饮酒帮助我收集了很多关于我如何过今天和明天的信息。

  • 感觉像可以 ’t possibly be anyone else out there 那 goes through what I go through with sobriety, I read another blog 那 sounds 喜欢I wrote it. Word for word. Forever is a VERY scary word for me. Thank 您 for all of 您r advice on how to deal. You have no idea how much I appreciate it while trying to get abstinent days behind me.

  • 那 word FOREVER and 决不 has also twisted my way of 思维 . It’如此恐怖,对我也很重要。一世’m trying to train my brain to think just for today. I just did eleven days of sobriety and I thought 那 was 永远。 I will try again and only think for today. Thanks !

  • 感谢您引起我的注意,因为对我来说,这个观念也正在引起我的反叛(我不’t 喜欢to be told ‘never’为了任何东西)。所以就今天而言’ll concentrate on.

  • 有些人对“never” or “forever” – and 那’s great. I can’不能兑现承诺。我很确定我赢了’t drink again. I’d想以为我在做什么就可以了。我的意图是不接电话。但是我可以’t guarantee 永远。 Or 决不. So one day at a time is fine. Very early on 那 is all I could cling on to…just not drink for 那 day. It was important for me to get 那 little abstinence time behind me as I worked on my 复苏 , doing what I needed to do to not just stop, but stay stopped. And however it works for 您, then 那 is what works for 您 now.

    我曾经纠结于“never” and “forever” –对我来说太大了。我需要一口大小的块才能使自己的头脑更轻松。这些天’一次不是紧急的一天–我知道我的路在哪里,我需要做什么…精神上的困扰已解除,但我必须保持警惕…every day. So what 您 say here and the comments are wonderful and bang on.

    好东西!

    祝福
    保罗

  • Today is now easier than it was in the beginning, tomorrow is okay too but 永远 still gets me feeling 喜欢I need to leave the room, push it out of sight. It’s too big to contemplate and I am just hoping 那 if I can keep doing today and tomorrow, I’ll look up one day and think holy shit, there is no way I can throw 那 away now, its so big it makes 永远 look smaller!

    • 那’完全正确。今天变成明天… and 那’s it. 那’s all the magic we need. 那’s exactly how i got to (freaking) 9个月 .. because i can assure 您 那 my longest time 清醒 , before, was 9 days. i’d get to 7 days, i’d start to think about 永远, i’d decide 那 if i was going to drink eventually i might as 好 drink now, etc. Thankfully the longer this goes on (9 months) the more i can count on myself to say “今天,明天和第二天。”但是起初是“让我到晚上10点才能上床睡觉!” : )

      • 那’s what I’ve been doing, 思维 about 永远。 Reading this just took a ton of weight off my shoulders. I wish I could make it past 6 days. I tend to freak out on Friday, 喜欢“我要坚持喝醉” even if it’s only one. I can’我似乎没到星期五’m scared to death.

  • Today is all we really ever have; I have learned 那 the very hardest way of all: losing both 您nger sibs in three years, before either of them was 50. They left kids in school, grandchildren, heartbroken spouses and a sister who still cannot make sense of it all. But I have stayed 清醒 thru it all and I am really glad for 那.

    Today I will stay sane. Tomorrow I will try to do the same. Beyond 那…只要我们远离酒精,就能自理。

  • I say I will re-evaluate at 80. 那 way it is not 永远, but it is a looong way away. There is no reason for me to drink before 那. And I figure if I want to drink then, I will just be hurting myself.

  • You are so right about the word 决不.

    喝醉了我不能’t reach a goal, so I’m not 喝 for today works for me being 清醒 . I suppose it can be applied to going on a diet among other things. It would be more productive to tell myself I will treat my body good today as opposed to I can 决不 have sweets again. Eeck. ;).

    美女– 您 bring up some great points in our blog. Today’s博客是我今天需要阅读的东西。

    Thank 您 –

    • I am thankful for all of the great emails and comments I get every day from genius 清醒 people 喜欢您 : ) thanks and thanks again. It’s JUST 喜欢dieting. All we’负责今天。这分钟我们做什么’今天吃(喝)。其余的会自己照顾…